10 Tips to take your Friendsgiving to the Next Level
If you’re anything like me, Friendsgiving is both the most exciting day of the year and the most stressful. I absolutely love all those delicious but massive Thanksgiving foods, like stuffing and turkey and 12 different cranberry sauces. But since I live so far away from my family, the only way I can cook these dishes is if I invite a lot…ALOT… of friends. And consequently it’s turned into an event I try to one-up every year.
Of course there are lots of fun takes on how to create a knock-out Friendsgiving: make it a pajama party, serve every dish as a mini version of itself, plan a game or movie night.
But for those of us who don’t get to do a big family Thanksgiving every year, or don’t get to host one, this is our opportunity. We get the chance to hang out casually with our friends all the time, why not make this day of thanks really something special? Here are a few tips to upgrade your Friendsgiving to the next level.
Place cards
A chance to be both classy and fun- make individualized name cards for each guest to mark their seat. Putting out a seating arrangement automatically ups the class factor. Guests sit a little straighter and sip their wine a little more daintily (the first few sips anyway.)
If you don’t want to be quite as formal, make individual name holders and set them out on a table display. Invite you guests to pick one up and claim the seat of their choice when they arrive.
Label each dish
Along the vein of place cards, food labels are a fairly simple and cheap way to take the party one notch up. Not only are they useful, but they can be incredibly cute decorations as well. If you choose to decorate them, subtly tie them in with your overall party theme for an added air of elegance. But you can also make them fun! Try naming each dish after a guest or an inside joke. Or include a little hand drawing or sticker of each dish in the corner. You can even craft them into turkeys or pumpkins just like your place cards.
Food labels are especially useful for a self-serve buffet. Give guests with different tastes or allergies the opportunity to select their dishes without making it awkward. Place each label either into the dish with a toothpick (for sauces, stuffings or casseroles), or stand them next to the dish (for meats, salads, and desserts). And they’re a great way to decorate a buffet table if you already spent all your decorating budget on a centerpiece.
It can be a little harder to add these into a full table spread setting. But it’s not impossible! Plan your table placement before and set out signage to mark each dish’s spot. (Useful too if guests are helping you bring dishes to the table!) You’ll also be able to confirm everything will fit on the table with this method. And the cute little labels will add even more decoration to your table display!
If you’re doing a pot-luck Friendsgiving, you can still use food labels. Give credit where credit is due. Check off what each guest is bringing and make a little label with the dish and who brought it. When the dish arrives, add the label and share. (Your friends will know exactly who to thank for that garlic-breath later!)
Appetizers
It might seem silly to add appetizers to a notoriously large feast like Thanksgiving, but bear with me. Whether you’re doing a potluck or meticulously cooked the meal yourself, you still will have a gap between the arrival of the first guest and the moment you all sit to eat.
After all, everyone has to be present before you can start. And more than likely the turkey will just be coming out of the oven when guest number one arrives. (Turkeys need time to sit before carving fyi!)
Good party etiquette dictates you should have something for your guests to snack on the minute they walk through the door. Especially if they are going to be waiting for their dinner. The snack table is also the perfect place for guests to hangout so they don’t get under your feet in the kitchen!
Pick a light appetizer. Since you have so much food coming, don’t overwhelm everyone with massive spreads of bread and fried treats. You want everyone to enjoy the feast you made! Keep it to 2 appetizers, 4 servings per guest. And stick to choices like:
- A cheese and fruit spread
- A small cup of Nutty Brown Butter Butternut Squash Soup
- These adorably rustic assorted mini galettes!
- Some bacon wrapped persimmons
- A rustic homemade chicken liver paté
I know, at the minimum you just cooked a whole massive turkey. You may even have cooked the whole meal including cranberry sauce! Why do you need one more? Trust me. It looks great when guests walk in. You’ll feel like such a lovely host when you offer treats to your guests while they wait for everyone else. If you’re really exhausted from the cooking or think you’ll run short on time, go with a cheese board. Waiting on guests to bring all the sides? Spring for a little more in depth apps.
Whatever you choose, you’ll delight both yourself and your guests!
Welcome Cocktail
Just like an appetizer, offering something to drink to guests as they come in is a lovely gesture. But more importantly, it sets the mood for your party! A snack and a drink in-hand will feel much more like the holidays…and make everyone ready for the main event.
But remember a cocktail doesn’t have to be one that you shake individually for each guest. You don’t want to be still making the welcome cocktail an hour in! Instead make a batch cocktail. It’s cheaper, easier, and much more efficient on your wallet. Pick something with lots of fall flavors and a festive color. Add garnishes like orange slices, cinnamon sticks, and cranberries. You can even pair your cocktail with the theme or appetizers.
Set the table
There is nothing more inviting than walking into a dinner party and finding a table fully set with glistening dishes. Table settings definitely add to the air of class at a dinner party and hint at the deliciousness to come!
You don’t have to pull out your most expensive fine china and gold cutlery. (Though if you don’t get the chance to use them much, this could be your opportunity.) And you certainly don’t need 5 different forks and 7 different knives for each setting. But putting out a plate, bowl (if you are serving soup), and simple cutlery is a lovely presentation on its own. Dress this up with a cloth napkin and a festive napkin ring. And, of course, your cute, seasonal place cards!
Included in setting the table are decorations. Most holiday feasts will have a centerpiece or table runner and a tablecloth. Feel free to get creative here.
- Decorated pumpkins and fall gourds
- Wheat sheaths and a cornucopia
- Fall flowers, possibly even in a pumpkin vase!
Add scattered leaves, a few gourds and pumpkins- final touches like these will dress up the whole feeling of the display. If you are using a table runner, the food will likely be presented on a different table. Remember to dress the food display up as well, throw on a few decorations!
Buffets
If you are doing a self-serve buffet and put out dishes and cutlery in stacks, you can still dress up the buffet table! Add decorations that would normally be on your table and tuck them between dishes. Use books and cardboard to create levels. (If you want to keep your leveling technique a secret, cover everything in a table cloth.) Throw in a few dish labels and voila! You’ve got yourself a gorgeous buffet table.
Include Memories and Pictures
Looking for ways to make your Friendsgiving more personal? Incorporate special moments, inside jokes, and personal memories into your decorations.
Friendsgiving is an opportunity to be a little more casual and laid back than your traditional Thanksgiving. You don’t need framed portraits of your friends, they won’t judge you for not having a gallery wall of family photos.
Instead, create some fun decor that highlights your memories from the past year, or past Friendsgivings!
Try creating a memory board on one wall (the one above the buffet table or near the couch where everyone crashes after dessert are good choices.) Hang pictures and funny quotes from friends. If you’re feeling up to creating a few more decorations, spice up your memory board with more cute DIY decorations that match your name cards. Or simply scatter some fall leaves and berry branches between photos for a “seasonal” flare.
If your walls are already crowded or you want something a little more delicate and festive, try a photo string! Tie up some sort of string and use clothespins or paper clips to attach photos.
- Rustic: Just some colorful yarn or baker’s twine looped along the walls. Fasten pictures on with painted or wood-stained clothespins.
- Whimsical: Loop a string or two of white Christmas lights to drape over the room. Use clothes pins to fasten pictures between the lights.
- Classy: If you want to really make an impression, get some beautiful photo string displays. You can select from different lengths and lights and they come with fasteners already attached! Simply add in a couple of fall decorations every few pictures and you’re finished.
- Dress it up: To make any option fancier, add more…you guessed it…fall decorations! You can attach a fall leaf to each picture, decorate the clothes pins, or even alternate photos with some cute DIY turkeys or pumpkins. If you want, personalize these decorations by including a friend’s quote, a fun memory, or make each one an avatar of your friends.
Plan an activity or game
You may be inviting a large group of people who know each other, or you may have friends from all different areas of your life. Either way, games are always a good way to keep the atmosphere fun and casual, especially after everyone has eaten so much they can’t walk.
Before the meal, set up holiday themed games. Thanksgiving bingo is a great way to keep the mood light, and you can personalize it to your group of friends. Rather than having typical squares like “someone asks for thirds” or “someone says they’re grateful for their family,” create some fun ones related to your guests like “Katie leaves a drink half finished” or “Mark reminds everyone he’s pescatarian.” Make sure you include everyone in this and keep it light teasing. You don’t want anyone to feel hurt. That’s a good way to ruin a Friendsgiving. If you’ve got a backyard or a park nearby, encourage everyone to get outside for that All-American-Thanksgiving tradition…football! It will keep everyone energized and they’ll be hungry for dinner without a doubt.
Guests may be a bit Thanksgivinged-out after the meal, so try a nonspecific party game. Cards Against Humanity is always a hit, even if not everyone is close. A great way to bond is laughing over something totally inappropriate together. Card games have the added benefit of not requiring any physical activity, so no one will lose their meal!
But activities don’t have to include games. Set up a photo wall so your friends can record their memories of the night! (It’s also the perfect place to get a big group photo at the end of the night so you can decorate for future Friendsgivings.) Obviously cellphones are in everyone’s pocket these days, so you don’t need to worry about a camera or photographer.
But an Instax camera is one way to upgrade the Friendsgiving fun. Who doesn’t like instant pictures?! The retro-style photo can come in all sorts of decorative film. (Just remember, it’s not a polaroid so don’t shake the photos as they develop.) And, here’s a tip, if you leave an Instax out for people to take photos, you can leave a few slots empty on your pictures string so guests can fill them in with this year’s pictures! It’s a great way to include your friends in the decorating. And they’ll have a cute photo to take home at the end. Not to mention adding to your supply for next year!
Leftover Containers
Possibly the greatest thing about any Thanksgiving feast is the leftovers. The trade off is pretty great if you think about it: cook for a day, eat like a king for a week.
But even a fantastic Thanksgiving leftover sandwich gets old after a few days. The wiser option is to share the wealth. Instead of keeping everything in your fridge, send your guests home with some treats as well! Wrap up a little of everything and send each guest home with a personal doggie-bag. They’ll appreciate it, and so will your fridge space! (And let’s be honest, your poor tummy too.)
- Budget: Ask your guests to bring a leftovers tupperware with them
- Fancy: Buy some cute leftover containers and fold them up yourself
Starting to compile leftovers is a good way to signal the party is over. Most guests will notice and get the message. Offer to let people serve their own as well, especially for picky eaters or those with allergies. Who knows, some might even help with serving leftovers and cleaning up!
Just remember to set aside a little bit of leftovers for your fridge too. You don’t want to miss out on lunch the next day!
Party Favors
I always struggle with how to wrap up the evening. The meal is over. The games are played. The drinks are finished. Leftover bags are a great way to get the party exodus started, but so are party favors!
Handing each guest a little personal treat as they head out the door is a lovely gesture. They did come all the way to your home for your party, after all.
Party favors are highly customizable, you can make them as extravagant or simple as you like. And they can fit within any budget. They are also very easy to personalize for each guest if you have a special reason to be thankful for some people…
A few party favor ideas to consider:
- A small jar of toasted nuts or pumpkin seeds
- Fall-themed cookies
- A to-go cup of warm apple cider
- A mug with hot chocolate mix tucked inside
- A treat bag of candies with personalized notes thanking each guest for something they did that year
- Candied apples
Whatever you choose to do, your guests will love the additional effort. And what a happy note to end your party!
Remember the day: Give Thanks
Focus on the company and remember to be thankful. As stressful as a party may be, remember that you are hosting a Friendsgiving to spend time with your friends. Take a moment to appreciate their importance in your life. If you don’t want to actively say a grace or give thanks at the table, try to incorporate it into the day.
- Create an “I’m thankful for…” decoration. This can be a pumpkin that people write on with sharpie. It can be a turkey that people add “feathers” to, a “Thanksgiving tree,” place card embellishments, or even just a glass jar with slips of paper.
- Pull each person aside for just a moment and tell them one thing you really appreciate about your friendship or thank them for one memory. (Or add them into your personalized party favors at the end.)
- A little more advanced version: Ask your friends to bring old clothes or canned food to your house as donations. Place a big box by the door where guests can drop these items. At the end of the night, reveal what charity or shelter you’ll be giving them to.
Final Advice: Don’t forget to join the festivities too.
It’s tough to host a party. You’re planning the date, the menu, the decorations. Making the labels and place cards. Buying ingredients, favors, and decorations. Planning which dishes cook when. Figuring out the alcohol pairings. Actually cooking everything. (Or wrangling unruly potluck guests!) Cleaning your home. Trying to look cute before people get there. It’s not easy and it takes weeks to get it all right.
After all that michegas? Take time to relax and join in! (I always struggle with this, so be better than me.) Your guests came to eat your lovely food, of course, but they also came to see you. Make sure you put down the spatula and actually join in the party. Eat the food you cooked at least! And chat with the lovely friends who journeyed to spend the day with you.
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